I was actually going to begin a new blog to document this new chapter I'm in, but as I looked back on these sweet memories from several years ago, I thought it would be fitting to continue documenting my motherhood journey.
Since my last post, I did go back to work as an activities assistant. I was grateful for the job but I was ready to grow. I had a bachelors degree and wanted to use it, but was unsure what I wanted to do exactly. My husband suggested to use the position to get my foot in the door, and that's exactly what happened. Shortly after I was offered a position within the same building to work as a Social Services Assistant. I split my full time job in both positions. Soon after, I was offered a Social Services Director position and worked in that position for 5 years. It was a stressful job, but one that I am very grateful and appreciative to have experienced. Before I took the job as director, I spent time praying and considering heavily if I should take it. I felt like I went from 0-100, from being a stay at home mom to working a job that would have me away from the house most days at least 10 hours a day. My mom came over one day and said to me "Are you struggling with deciding if you should take the job?" I answered "Yes." She said, "The kids are young now and you have good support for them, but when Moriah turns around 12, that's when you need to be home." Moriah is my oldest and was around 6 at the time. That always stuck with me. So after I decided to take the job, I always had that as a sort of deadline to be back at home.
The beginning of the 5th year in my position, we got pregnant with our 4th. That was the first time out of our 3 kids that we 'tried.' We were both excited about our "last go round" but a little before the second trimester, we discovered that we lost the baby. It was devastating. But God and His goodness came through on His comfort. A few months after, I felt a shift and my husband did also. He said he was thinking of me leaving my job and staying home with the kids. I still remember the feelings I had of the almost impossibility of our income basically being divided in half. We prayed, sought council and received confirmation. I resigned from my job to stay at home. Oh yeah, Moriah was 11 at the time.
I remember the objectives David gave me were to take care of the kids specifically with their school, take care of our home and pursue my passion of fitness. I'm finding joy in all of the roles. I'm homeschooling all 3 children. I'm learning the joy of homemaking and sharing it with the kids, as we learn how to make fresh bread. I'm loving my fitness. I wish I could be further in that though. I'm getting over the fear of putting myself out there. The beginning of this year, David was inspired to have another baby. I really didn't see that coming but I'm learning to trust him, trust his inspirations and trust when God is leading us through him. So here we are.. We told the kids. They were ecstatic. Especially my son. He was always into babies from when he was a preschooler.
Today for a split second so many things came to mind, the risks of my age, our previous pregnancy, etc, Then I thought about God's goodness and in the middle of those thoughts, I was deciding to choose hope, joy, God's faithfulness and all the other times God has worked through David's leading. They all gave me the confidence that I needed. We told his mom, and secured an OBGYN appointment.
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