I can do all things...

So an ideal day for me would be to have quality one on one time with God, my husband the kids and even myself. But the reality is, many days it seems like the only one that is getting all my attention is the least appreciative... my house:( I'm telling you, at least once a week the lyrics from Steven Curtis Chapman pop in my head, "You're picking up toys on the living room floor for the 15th time today. Matching up socks, sweeping up lost Cheerios that got away..." Even with all that work, my house shows it's disgruntledness and I'm at it again the next day.

On Monday, I usually start off very optimistic, then by Wednesday evening I'm counting down the hours til Friday when David will have off. In the the midst of the week if I get enough time, I daydream about the spending a good heart to heart convo with God. Where I actually make time to listen and not just talk. Then spending time with each child as if they were the only one. Also I dream of spending time with David as if we were still engaged (What? Holding each others hands instead of holding two others while pushing a stroller in between us?) Of course I can't forget hitting the gym for an hour or so because in order for me to get the same results in high school, it seems that I have to do double the work. I would love to do all of this and come home to a clean house and still get at least 8 hours of sleep. Yes, that would be ideal, but reality is some days only one or two of these get accomplished and rarely do all of these get accomplished. But that's ok.

I am a part of a moms group that is so incredibly awesome. They generally are held twice a month and the meeting consists of guest speakers, devotions, crafts, games, food and great fellowship. During one meeting, one of the guest speakers said something that stuck. She explained that the scripture "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" wasn't intended to encourage us do to everything. We as moms are so great at multitasking that oftentimes we take on too much and sometimes take on more tasks even while we're overwhelmed. But the scripture is encouraging us that we can do all the things that God has in His will for us to do, the things that He intended for us to do. Maybe He didn't intend for me to be Martha Stewart, and instead of me devoting so much strength to cleaning, I should devote more strength to enjoying my kids now.

The speaker also pleaded with us that one thing we shouldn't sacrifice is our alone time with God and to really try to do it first thing in the morning so that we may ask Him to prioritize our day so we may be productive in His eyes even if in our eyes we didn't get much accomplished. This is a struggle for me because I am such a busybody, but I'm asking God to show me to handle my tasks with quality and not just quantity. Hoping that I will not be under the illusion that if I don't have an ideal day, then it's not a good one. I will trust that God will give me the wisdom to know which tasks to undertake and the strength to do so. Do you also sometimes feel constantly overwhelmed? Could it be because perhaps your trying to execute your priorities even if they are not God's?

~ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ~Philippians 4:13
~ In the morning, Lord you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. ~ Psalm 5:3

I Just Wanted to Hear Him Say "I Love You"

I remember it vividly, I must've been sharing an instance where David was making me crack up and my boss at the time said, "You have such a deep love for your husband but wait until you have kids. It's going to be a love you never imagined." My response was "I sure hope so because I don't even like kids." I didn't even realize until the immediate laughter of all my present co-workers how quickly I had blurted that out.

Well at the time, David and I had been married for nearly two years. We had so much on our plate. He was working two full time jobs, I was working plus going to school for an accerlerated program. We were both actively involved in our church which caused us to be there nearly 3-4 days a week. Not only was I exhausted, but at that time the thought of planning for children was not on our list of priorities at all. We were nowhere where we wanted to be financially, in matter of fact we were behind where we needed to be due to me not attaining a job that matched the benefits of my degree, but still having to pay student loans. There was also a period of unemployment when David's company moved. That was one of the hardest times for us financially.

A few weeks after my boss made that comment, I realized that my cycle was late. I waited, and waited but nothing. So one morning I took a pregnancy test and decided to have devotion while I waited for the results. At that time, I was in great need for a deeper relationship with God. Over a period of months, I kept on asking Him to tell me personally and specifically that He loved me. Even though I had spent practically my whole life in church, had a personal relationship with God, and even had many confirmations of His closeness, I still longed for an eye to eye, intimate "I love you. When I see you, I see Me and even when I don't see Me, I still love you."

This particular morning, I sang a hymn and called out to God in tears. After I was done, I remember feeling a weight lifted. I was so engulfed in my prayer that the anticipation of the pregnancy test was barely present. I wiped my tears, got up, walked to the bathroom and read the test. It stated "pregnant." This is my first recollection in life of instantaneous elation that came not only from the astonishment of wow I have life in me, but also looking back, that was the moment that God began in a beautiful way to answer my prayer. Seeing me holding that test, I can almost hear Him say "Are you ready for a specific illustration of my love for you? Keep your eyes open because everyday from here on out I'm going to demonstrate it."

Please don't get me wrong. One doesn't need to have a child for God to demonstrate His love. In matter of fact, God demonstrated His love in full when He sent His son to die for us, so that we can have an abundant life here and we may live in heaven. Even on our best days, our works and effort wouldn't deserve it. But God in His patience and mercy knew that I would understand this truth more in depth, and that I would hear His "I love you" to me through me having children. A means that back then I wouldn't have necessarily chosen. Shall I remind you the comment that I made to my boss that I didn't even like kids? I was really just expecting Him to show up in a dream or something. But God is awesome and He knows what's the most effective way to win our hearts if we yield to His choice of means. What's even more awesome is that He chose the long haul by showing me His love everyday rather than the one time expression like through a dream which I had suggested.:)

So I have a few challenges for everyone. If you don't have a relationship with God, call out to Him, trust me, He will answer you. If you have a relationship with Him already and you want to go another level, call out to Him and be willing to accept His choice of means to answer and demonstrate His love. He is faithful and dedicated. And I challenge all of you to follow me and take a glimpse into my life as He gives me a glimpse of His love; the nuggets and parallels of His love for us through the love for our children. Thank you and enjoy!